Kajal Kumar knows the value of a good education. She's a career woman
who poured years of her life into studying to become a certified public
accountant with an MBA.
But after nearly two decades climbing
the corporate ladder in New York, the 46-year-old stopped managing
employees and began micromanaging her two daughters.
Instead of
overseeing company accounts, Kumar organizes piano lessons, SAT
preparation courses and Advanced Placement class homework assignments.
She wants to give her daughters a shot at a top-notch college education.
"I had a very good, promising career," Kumar said. "But it wasn't as
important as making sure my kids did well and just setting them up for
the future."
Stay-at-home parenting is nothing new. About 5.1
million mothers stay at home full time, according to the U.S. Census
Bureau. But Kumar's decision to quit her job came at an unconventional
time -- when her children were grown teenagers and had entered high
school. Unlike maternity leave, think of Kumar's time off as a
college-prep leave, say college admissions counselors.
She
represents a group of highly educated mothers who are sacrificing
careers to usher their children through the increasingly competitive
college admissions process.
There are no statistics counting how
many mothers compromise their careers to help their teens with college
admissions, but college counselors say they've witnessed more cases of
mothers pausing their jobs or completely quitting their jobs. Over the
past five years, Jeannie Borin, president of College
Connections, says she saw a 10 percent uptick in mothers who quit or
postponed their career to get their teens into college. Her counseling
company offers services in 32 states.
These mothers, who can
afford to quit their jobs, may stop working for months, a year or
several years leading up to the admission process, say researchers and
college admissions counselors. They reduce their full-time hours to part
time or request a temporary leave. Because many of them have jobs that
require advanced degrees and specific skills, it's usually easier for
them to transition back into the work force.
"They know it's
going to be an intense year and they take a leave to that effect," Borin
said. "The college frenzy has affected the entire family."
Since
the mid-1990s, there has been a dramatic increase in the amount of time
college-educated mothers are spending with their older children,
according to a March study from the University of California, San Diego.
Women spent six hours a week on child care in the mid-1990s, but that
number jumped to about 12 hours a week after 2005, the study said.
Economics
professors Garey and Valerie Ramey, who headed the UCSD study,
theorized the rising amount of time spent on child care by a parent
likely is associated with difficulty in the college admission process
and juggling college preparatory activities. They found that
college-educated parents have more resources and are better equipped to
help their children with the process.
"We were shocked to find
other mothers who had graduate degrees and had given up their careers
and devoted their time to their children," said Valerie Ramey.
The
panic of getting her 17-year-old daughter into a highly ranked
university hit Rebecca Marder hard.
Marder, 56, of Los Angeles,
California, holds two master's degrees in counseling that took her
nearly 5½ years to earn. But a year-and-a-half ago, during daughter's
junior year in high school, she put her private counseling practice on
hold to help her through the college application process. Junior year is
a crunch time for high schoolers, as they compile college wish lists
and tour campuses.
She became her daughter's college applications
manager, scheduling campus tours and researching academic programs. She
also became a videographer, recording her 17-year-old at each college
visit as she weighed the pros and cons in front of each school.
Marder
has three older children, ages 25, 23, and 19, but she said this is the
first time she stopped working, because she saw that expectations of
high school students had grown since her eldest child entered college.
Marder said it is a dilemma. "We can be seen by others and, more
importantly, by ourselves, as 'irresponsible' for not taking an active
role in our child's application process, or as driven and overprotective
if we do get involved."
She was relieved to learn this month
that her daughter had been accepted by her top choice, New York
University. She immediately reopened her practice, which was crucial,
she said, because she had gone into debt during her time off.
Managing
a child's college application process can be similar to a corporate
job, says Hilary Levey, a fellow at Harvard University who specializes
in family studies. Levey conducted dozens of interviews with mothers who
stopped working and stayed at home for their children. She says she
talked to mothers who used their Blackberry devices to organize
schedules and help their teens craft resumes.
"Raising the child
sometimes becomes a career in itself," Levey said. "Instead of getting a
promotion and measuring progress in professional sense, a way to
measure how well you are doing is how well your child is doing."
Read the rest of the Story